Money stress doesn't have to break your marriage
Private, trauma-informed financial coaching for couples ready to stop the fights and start feeling like a team again.
Financial stress is killing my marriage
Whether you’re feeling shut down, stuck in the same argument, or unsure how to rebuild trust after financial conflict, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Together, we’ll create a safe space to talk about money and a clear plan to move forward.
Ready to feel like a team again?
Get private, judgment-free support to tackle money stress together.
You’ve tried a million times to talk to your spouse about money...
…but every conversation feels like the same fight on repeat. No wonder it feels like financial stress is killing your marriage. You’re exhausted, resentful, and wondering if this is just how it is—or if there’s a way out.
You’re both trying to protect yourselves and neither of you feels listened to or understood.
You either feel like the bad guy bringing up money AGAIN, or you’re being blamed for shutting down and shutting your partner out… or both. It’s hard to feel like a team when you both feel so isolated.
What’s the point of working this hard and making good money if nothing ever changes? It’s hard to stay motivated when it feels like you’ve tried everything and getting no where.
What "financial stress is killing my marriage" can feel like...
“If he understood how important this is to me, he wouldn’t keep shutting down.”
“We’ve made so many spreadsheets and she won’t stick to any of them! What’s the point of trying again?”
“We communicate well in every other part of our lives, but when it comes to money, it feels impossible.”
“Money stress is ruining our relationship, and we don’t know how to stop fighting about finances.”
“I know she doesn’t want to talk about money issues, and I’ll be honest, neither do I, but we HAVE to figure this shit out!”
“How we can both make this much money but never have anything in savings?”
“We communicate well in every other part of our lives, but can’t even have a simple conversation about the budget.”
“We just need to make more money.”
But you can't out-earn money stress.
Goodness knows if that were going to work it would have worked by now. You can only work so hard for so many hours until there is nothing left of you. There are only so many ways you can restrict, shame, and judge yourself and each other. And you’ve tried everything.
Budgeting as a couple is not just about spreadsheets, restriction, or prioritizing spending
What would your lives together look like if you could trust yourselves AND each other with money?
If I could just magically make it so you two could have healthy, safe financial conversations together AND have an adaptable, personalized plan for your money, how would that feel different than it does right now?
What would you be able to do that you can’t do now? What would your relationship look like?
How holistic financial coaching helps couples navigate financial conflicts
Maybe the idea of a pleasant, intimate money conversation with your partner seems unrealistic… that the best you can hope for is for financial conversations to not be like pulling teeth.
But your money talks can be a conversation you actually look forward to. It could be a time when you are working together towards your shared future and you both feel supported and safe.
Here's what our financial coaching sessions will look like:
At our first conversation I’ll be asking questions to help me determine if I’m a good fit for you. We’ll talk about each of your goals, as well as your shared goals, and the obstacles you both see standing in your way. We’ll talk about how I do what I do, and of course you’ll be able to ask any question you can possibly think of. Towards the end of the session we’ll cover logistics (homework, pricing, frequency, scheduling, etc.) This initial info session is always free, and you won’t need any financial information on hand.
After that first session we are a team! My job will be to teach concepts and tools that will help you both build trust and resilience in yourself and each other! Most of the coaching is done through games and stories, which makes integrating concepts and strategies into your life so much easier. (And easy to re-teach these concepts to kids.)
We will be working on money mechanics (also called financial literacy), but also soft skills like problem-solving, decision-making, undermining procrastination… and of course we will talk about communication and connection as well!
We will build your shared money language
Instead of just another “financial guru” telling you what to do, we will be collaborating on the path we take through the curriculum! You both are driving and directing this as much as I am. We are going to build not only a conversational strategy, but a money system that will work for you because it’s been build with and for both of you.
Before you know it I’ll be unnecessary! My greatest joy as a coach is graduating my clients who can be aware of their spending without judgment or shame, evolve their personalized money system (budget), and communicate well without the need for mediation.
You are so much closer to financial safety in your marriage than you might think
You and your partner likely have everything you need right now to create your own money system and have honest, productive conversations around money.
What feels like rubble right now is actually the building materials we’ll need to create that system together. But it starts with you, right now. I know it can be daunting to bring up seeing a financial coach with your partner, but the fact that you’ve read this far down the page tells me that it’s time!
What would it look like for you if financial stress wasn't taking a toll on your marriage?
So what’s the single biggest thing you’d like to take away from holistic, trauma-informed couples financial coaching?
Reach out via the form below and let me know!
FAQs:
Q: Financial stress is killing my marriage, should we see a couple’s financial coach, a marriage therapist, or both?
A: Both, ideally. But if you have to choose one, choose the couple’s therapist to begin with and then come to coaching for money-specific communication tools and system building! I recommend EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and Gottman. Trauma-informed financial coaching partners well with all kinds of therapy. If you’re not sure which way to go, let’s have an info session and let’s talk about it!
Q: Why is talking about money so triggering?
A: Money is different than almost every domain in your lives, except maybe sex and parenting. This makes sense, sex and parenting are core to our survival and sense of self, but so is money. More than that, money is the ONLY resource in our modern economy. And our brains get very reactive if we think someone (even our partner) is interfering with our resources.
Q: What can I do to make changes NOW?
A: Ironically, and maybe frustratingly, practicing patience and grace first for yourself and then for your partner is the easiest way to make smooth, long-term changes.
Q: How do I talk about money with my partner without coaching?
A: The two things I suggest couples do (or rather, not do) even if you’re not coming to coaching is 1)Leave the past in the past and 2) Talk about what is going on with YOU, not what is going on with your partner. I realize these aren’t easy asks, but not bringing up the past and being brave enough to talk about your experiences, not your partner’s intentions can only help bring down the temperature in your conversations.
Financial stress doesn't have to end your marriage...
You’re not alone, and this doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
Let’s talk through what’s happening and what’s still possible.
More resources
Start this free, five-day financial wellness challenge to help you and your partner talk about what you both long for in your financial lives together.
Learn more about why financial infidelity happens.
Get the “10 Skills Every High-Functioning Couple Needs to Talk About Money Without Fighting” guide.