Financial impostor syndrome and the guilt that surrounds it is actually pretty common…especially if you’re making more money than your social or familial group. Let’s talk about why financial imposter syndrome does what it does and what you can do to combat it.
Approximate read time: 5 minutes
Being outside of our societal norms registers to our safety-obsessed brains as being unsafe
Our brains are obsessed with survival and safety. Being part of an ingroup means safety. When we stray too far outside of the norms of that group, the consequence can be panic, fear, and regret.
This can also register as guilt. A lot of this guilt can sound like “I make all this money, and I’ve done everything right and I’m still not happy, I’m not stable, and I’m not safe. .. what’s wrong with me?” The purpose of this guilt being to bring us back in line with whatever our perception of “normal” is, and therefore being back in the ingroup.
I see people trying to battle back financial imposter syndrome with layers of positive affirmations. This frequently backfires, as the imposter syndrome will tell us that those positive affirmations are all lies.
How to resolve financial imposter syndrome
If the financial imposter syndrome is fleeting, it can serve as a great indicator that we are a little outside our comfort zone, but still within our capacity to grow and evolve. I encourage my clients who are experiencing those brief but painful flashes of financial imposter syndrome to reframe that flash as a marker that they are progressing and celebrate it!
If the imposter syndrome takes over, with a near-constant flood of self-limiting beliefs, shame, and reminders of past “mistakes”, it’s time to dig a little deeper into what these thoughts are trying to accomplish.
Three questions to begin undermining financial imposter syndrome
1. What is this kind of self-talk trying to accomplish? What is it trying to protect me from?
Maybe “who do you think you are” is trying to keep you from reaching too far too fast and failing. Maybe these self-limiting internal conversations are trying to protect you from harm or hurt.
2. What is this kind of self-talk ACTUALLY doing to me?
Is it shutting you down? Making decisions nearly impossible? Is it kicking up anxiety?
Recognizing that financial imposter syndrome is actually trying to be of service is important. But recognizing that it is just really bad at its job is important too!
3. What other ways could I protect myself from X without Y?
What other ways could I protect myself from risk and failure that don’t involve me shutting down or reminding myself of past missteps? This is where the magic happens. When we get locked down into the imposter mindset, we are unable to look for other options. This question is designed to put your head on a swivel and begin to find ways to satisfy that need for safety and protection without making yourself feel like garbage.
Examining financial imposter syndrome gives you a break
Learning to slow down that toxic internal conversation with the three questions above can be quickly integrated into the ever-present conversations we hold with ourselves. The biggest payoff from this practice is that we get a little break from that persistent imposter in our heads and are able to breathe a little freer. That break allows us a bit of distance in our decisions and ability to see other options.
I always encourage my clients not to fight with big enemies like financial imposter syndrome. I ask only that they observe it and try to understand what its purpose is and look for other ways to satisfy that instinct. Financial imposter syndrome may be trying to protect you, but it will ultimately make you miserable.
As you learn to trust yourself, imposter syndrome will fade
Of course I can’t tell you how long this will take, but I can tell you that the most effective way to undermine financial imposter syndrome is to learn to trust yourself. And to do that you’ll need to be gentle with yourself. If you can do that, you can do anything.
Next recommended article: Shopping addiction: first steps to trusting yourself with shopping again
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